I found myself in a cauldron
With a fellow called Baldwin
Which was a pleasant way to meet my end,
For this man I hardly knew,
boiling with me in a stew,
Told me his name in English meant "Bold Friend!"
Then to the monster cooking he
Said, "Don't eat this man for tea
Just look at him he's unhealthy and fat!
Not only will he wreck the taste
You'll add inches to your waist
And give yourself no doubt a heart attack!
You must consider portion size
Your tummy's too big for your eyes
Settle instead for the likes of me,
Let this unfit fatty free
Replace him with some fresh parsley
And you'll find me satisfactory!"
And having lived up to his name
My Bold Friend quickly then became
Something warm and tender on a plate,
As for me I walked scott-free
And swore that I will happily
Never make an effort to lose weight!
By Kerin Gedge
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