Gaff
A gaff is many things it seems
For when I looked up what it means
I was surprised by all the things it is
It is a spear for catching fish
Or turtles too if you so wish
But that's just one of this words many uses!
You see if you should ever find
Whilst fishing, a fish on your line
To haul it in you'd use a handled hook
Which is called a gaff as well
But that's not all for now I'll tell
You about how it can refer to chooks
There is a kind of mean riff raff
Who attach a type of gaff
To the legs of roosters trained to fight
Turning it into a mean
Avian killing machine
So it can another rooster smite!
Then there is my friend Olaf
A butcher who uses a gaff
A hook on which he hangs fresh carcases!
And another friend of mine
Uses a gaff of sorts to climb
Up telephone poles to take a squiz!
And another thing I’ve learned
It is also a sailing term
The thing you call the spar that’s on a boat
On which a fore-and-aft sail
Is fixed upon to catch the gale
That helps to move this type of ship that floats!
I’ve also found it is written
Somewhere about old Britain
That a gaff can be a type of hall
Or a theatre that is cheap
And has nothing to do with meat
Or sailing ships or sharpened hooks at all!
And something that’s painful to bear
Like being chased by an angry bear
Is a gaff as well, a rough ordeal!
A gaff is also just a trick
A hoax, a fraud or a gimmick
Like if the grizzly was not in fact real!
And finally you’ll pay the price
Should you ever “gaff the dice”
Fixing them intently so to cheat
You’ll end up hung up on a hook
Or fighting with an angry chook
Either way you’ll end up being dead meat!
For when I looked up what it means
I was surprised by all the things it is
It is a spear for catching fish
Or turtles too if you so wish
But that's just one of this words many uses!
You see if you should ever find
Whilst fishing, a fish on your line
To haul it in you'd use a handled hook
Which is called a gaff as well
But that's not all for now I'll tell
You about how it can refer to chooks
There is a kind of mean riff raff
Who attach a type of gaff
To the legs of roosters trained to fight
Turning it into a mean
Avian killing machine
So it can another rooster smite!
Then there is my friend Olaf
A butcher who uses a gaff
A hook on which he hangs fresh carcases!
And another friend of mine
Uses a gaff of sorts to climb
Up telephone poles to take a squiz!
And another thing I’ve learned
It is also a sailing term
The thing you call the spar that’s on a boat
On which a fore-and-aft sail
Is fixed upon to catch the gale
That helps to move this type of ship that floats!
I’ve also found it is written
Somewhere about old Britain
That a gaff can be a type of hall
Or a theatre that is cheap
And has nothing to do with meat
Or sailing ships or sharpened hooks at all!
And something that’s painful to bear
Like being chased by an angry bear
Is a gaff as well, a rough ordeal!
A gaff is also just a trick
A hoax, a fraud or a gimmick
Like if the grizzly was not in fact real!
And finally you’ll pay the price
Should you ever “gaff the dice”
Fixing them intently so to cheat
You’ll end up hung up on a hook
Or fighting with an angry chook
Either way you’ll end up being dead meat!
By Kerin Gedge
Copyright 2014
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