Fell
I caught a little rabbit so
I could try and have a go
At felling him so I could have his fur,
But he looked at me with wide
Eyes that seemed to pierce inside
And said to me, "Please don't skin me sir!"
Then he did describe to me
The ins and outs of what would be
If I stripped the fur from off his flesh,
It left me with a stomach ache
And so I for my own sake
Decided letting him go would be best.
He said to me, "Why anyway
Would you try fell me today?"
I said I needed some way to keep warm,
But admittedly I'd need much more
Than the fur this rabbit wore
To keep me warm in the coming snow storm.
Then the little rabbit said,
"Why not fell a tree instead?
Then we could chop it for fire wood!
If you ask me killing a tree
Would be nicer than killing me
Don't you think a fire would be good?"
Fell a tree? Cut it down?
"By Jove!" I said, "I've been a clown!
Now if only I could find a saw…
But what happened next took me
Quite by surprise because a tree
Punched me with a branch right in the jaw!
Naturally down I fell
Onto the ground with a shrill yell
Like a sack of human parts and spuds,
"Oi!" I said "Why hit me so?"
The tree declared, "Now don't you go
Felling me today or there'll be blood!"
This tree was fell in the cruel sense,
Very fierce he took offense
And told me I should stick with rabbit fur
That he'd help me catch the lot
Of critters that the woods had got
However the rabbit did not concur.
Finally I said to the
Fell and mean and deadly tree
"I think I've had a much better idea!"
Maybe the tree's fell cruelty
Had perhaps rubbed off on me
For my plan was quite nasty I fear...
To save the rabbit's furry skin
That he was quite comfy in
And to save the tree from burning down
I lead the trees and all the beasts
Into the nearest city's streets
And scared away the people of the town.
And there the trees live happily
With the rabbits and with me
Quite cozy now that everything there's mine,
And as for what was once our home
It's now a fell where nothing roams
A barren land without rabbits or pines!
